I feel that a candid prelude would be wise for me to insert here, so that there is no misunderstanding as to my expectation or motivation in this endeavor. While the exercise of each Warren child "selling themselves" (so to speak) seems the most fair way for each of you to make an informed decision about the candidacy holding the most promise, I'll admit to being at a loss here. As I've thought through the (very few) years since my childhood, and come up with some items of note that may aid me in garnering your support, I hit many mental roadblocks and stopped many times in frustration, all the while confused as to why this is such a struggle for me. And then in a moment it all became clear. I don't know why I didn't anticipate the difficulty I would have, and yet I realized that this whole "assignment" feels so foreign to me. In a nutshell, I'm just not used to having to convince anyone why my resume-of-sorts is superior to any other. Its just typically self-evident. However, in the spirit of friendly competition, camaraderie, and to avoid any disqualification, I'll attempt to posit some particulars that may shed some extra light on the aforementioned obvious outcome:
(as a small caveat, I will not attempt to separately list claims that are more inclined to one parent or the other, since I, of course, view our parents as a Biblically represented "one flesh" who strive to always present a united front. this example was invaluable to me as a child and continues to be a source of constant and consistent inspiration. plus, our parents are not only married, but still engaged.)
1) I skipped 2 grades, which is testimony to the intellectual prowess of parents who can produce a great example of effective academic instruction. Every parent wants kids that make them look smart. Period.
2) I constantly challenged Mom and Dad's parenting "theories", which made them only MORE effective at parenting the children in the years after me. Had I not "sharpened" their skills at dealing with unforeseen obstacles to child-rearing, the subsequent offspring might have had less-than-superior structure in their daily lives.
3) I sang "Friends" in church when I was 11
4) I took it upon myself to give Aubrey and Annie daily practice in dealing with difficult relationships, remaining the sole reason that they have the interpersonal skill to diffuse conflict that is admired by so many.
5) And finally, while some have regarded my personality as difficult to get along with at times (these opinions of course are uninformed and regrettable), I married a man who is likely the most easy-going person in the family, and most closely resembles the personality of Dad. And that is always a good thing.
I'd ask for your vote, but I really believe that would represent the assumption that you might withhold it. And while I suppose that is existentially possible, it appears to be highly unlikely. Good luck in your attempt to fairly weigh all nine arguments before you choose me.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Humility, and How I Attained It (Or, Why I Deserve the Inheritance), by Anne Warren Welty
There are so many reasons I could list, but I'll stick the few real gems that highlight my platform...
So, here are some reasons that Dad will pick me:
1.) I always sided with him when he and mom had disagreements
2.) I helped him wash the car and do fix-it jobs around the house
3.) I was always in his camp about getting to church early, and consequently got to ride with him in the Ford Tempo Sport GL (our first sports car, I'll tell you about it sometime) to help set up for Sunday school.
4.) I loved our "soda fountain on the car dashboard game", while my two older (and ungrateful) sisters only whined and cried about how it wasn't real.
5.)And finally, Dad knocked out my two front teeth while wrestling with us, so he owes it to me.
And here are the reasons Mom will pick me:
1.) I let her teach me how to knit, crochet, and cross-stitch (things my above-mentioned older sisters proudly eschewed due to what I can only assume was an imagined "social stigma")
2.) I always volunteered to stay home with Mom when everyone else was leaving the house with Dad to get treats and whatnot.
3.) I was her first homeschooler (this really should be #1, but I don't want to make it obvious that I'm the favorite by listing the best first).
4.) I married a homeschooler, which was her most lofty goal for me.
5.) And finally, I have her green eyes. I'm the ONLY one with her green eyes. *sigh*
And that, my friends should leave you with no doubt. Not only do I deserve the homemade stockings (and accompanying ornaments), but I also will give a loving home to her Noritake wedding china (Aubrey, if you've already kidnapped it, GIVE IT BACK!!), and all of her audiobooks. Thank you, in advance, for voting for me.
So, here are some reasons that Dad will pick me:
1.) I always sided with him when he and mom had disagreements
2.) I helped him wash the car and do fix-it jobs around the house
3.) I was always in his camp about getting to church early, and consequently got to ride with him in the Ford Tempo Sport GL (our first sports car, I'll tell you about it sometime) to help set up for Sunday school.
4.) I loved our "soda fountain on the car dashboard game", while my two older (and ungrateful) sisters only whined and cried about how it wasn't real.
5.)And finally, Dad knocked out my two front teeth while wrestling with us, so he owes it to me.
And here are the reasons Mom will pick me:
1.) I let her teach me how to knit, crochet, and cross-stitch (things my above-mentioned older sisters proudly eschewed due to what I can only assume was an imagined "social stigma")
2.) I always volunteered to stay home with Mom when everyone else was leaving the house with Dad to get treats and whatnot.
3.) I was her first homeschooler (this really should be #1, but I don't want to make it obvious that I'm the favorite by listing the best first).
4.) I married a homeschooler, which was her most lofty goal for me.
5.) And finally, I have her green eyes. I'm the ONLY one with her green eyes. *sigh*
And that, my friends should leave you with no doubt. Not only do I deserve the homemade stockings (and accompanying ornaments), but I also will give a loving home to her Noritake wedding china (Aubrey, if you've already kidnapped it, GIVE IT BACK!!), and all of her audiobooks. Thank you, in advance, for voting for me.
The Inheritance
I know that everyone thinks that we Warrens don't ever fight (just don't ask Stephanie K....she's seen it all) and all we ever do is love each other and laugh. That is...partly true. We can love each other while we're fighting, can't we? To set the record straight, we do fight. Sometimes. These fights usually revolve around "Why are you wearing my sweater without asking me?!" or "I took the trash cans out last Friday so YOU have to do it this time!" or "You knew I was getting up to get some water and you took my seat!" or "Why are you sitting on my bed??! Go get your own bed!"
You get the picture. However, there is one fight in our home that has been raging since the Warren world began. A fight that will, most likely, never be completely resolved, a fight that we will never get tired of fighting, a fight that we will carry with us to our graves. Or, to our parents' graves.
Let me explain the backstory here. Years ago, in a far away land, Mom and Dad were very, very poor. No money, little food, and terrible living conditions. (Yes, they've come a long way.) It was time for Christmas and Dad and Mom looked at each other, wondering whether they would be able to have any Christmas at all. It didn't feel like Christmas because they couldn't afford one single decoration. Not a lot of presents for their little girls either. Mom, despite having little funds, was determined to make it the best Christmas ever. She began hand sewing all of their Christmas decorations. Wreaths, manger scenes, trees, gingerbread men, and even our stockings.
Some people might think that hand made decorations are cheap and useless and should be disposed of as soon as possible. But to us, they are some of our most cherished possessions. Every year, we break out our decorations and with it, the homemade stockings. For all of these years, we've wondered which one of us kids would actually get the stockings in the Will. We've begged for them, debated over them, attempted to bribe our parents for them, and a few of us have even considered hiding them until Mom and Dad die so we can "inherit" them. Some people take out life insurance money on dead people, but we plan to have a free-for-all for those stockings.
Now, it's not just the stockings that are the issue here. The stockings represent a much larger and rather illusive "Inheritance". Nevermind that there really is no Inheritance to speak of, but we know that whichever of us ends up with those stockings is truly the favorite child and will have all claims to the Inheritance. Mom and Dad say "Oh, there is no favorite child!" Yeah, right. Someday, we're going to find out who it is. But while they're still living, we all think we still have a chance at the stocking prize. We plan to use this blog as a public debate forum in which all 9 of us will lay out our best arguments for why we should get the stockings and with it, the Inheritance.
I'm sure the arguments will go something like this:
Aubrey-- "I'm the oldest!"
Kristen-- "I'm the smartest!"
Annie-- "I'm the prettiest!"
CJ-- "I'm the...sickest."
Nathan-- "I'm a multi-dollar recording artist!"
Beth-- "I'm the skinniest!"
Shelley-- "I'm the pinkest!"
Caleb-- "I've edited Wikipedia!"
Tim-- "I can do the best Army crawl!"
Stay tuned for each of our very convincing and mostly true arguments. Vote for your favorite after we've all posted!
You get the picture. However, there is one fight in our home that has been raging since the Warren world began. A fight that will, most likely, never be completely resolved, a fight that we will never get tired of fighting, a fight that we will carry with us to our graves. Or, to our parents' graves.
Let me explain the backstory here. Years ago, in a far away land, Mom and Dad were very, very poor. No money, little food, and terrible living conditions. (Yes, they've come a long way.) It was time for Christmas and Dad and Mom looked at each other, wondering whether they would be able to have any Christmas at all. It didn't feel like Christmas because they couldn't afford one single decoration. Not a lot of presents for their little girls either. Mom, despite having little funds, was determined to make it the best Christmas ever. She began hand sewing all of their Christmas decorations. Wreaths, manger scenes, trees, gingerbread men, and even our stockings.
Some people might think that hand made decorations are cheap and useless and should be disposed of as soon as possible. But to us, they are some of our most cherished possessions. Every year, we break out our decorations and with it, the homemade stockings. For all of these years, we've wondered which one of us kids would actually get the stockings in the Will. We've begged for them, debated over them, attempted to bribe our parents for them, and a few of us have even considered hiding them until Mom and Dad die so we can "inherit" them. Some people take out life insurance money on dead people, but we plan to have a free-for-all for those stockings.
Now, it's not just the stockings that are the issue here. The stockings represent a much larger and rather illusive "Inheritance". Nevermind that there really is no Inheritance to speak of, but we know that whichever of us ends up with those stockings is truly the favorite child and will have all claims to the Inheritance. Mom and Dad say "Oh, there is no favorite child!" Yeah, right. Someday, we're going to find out who it is. But while they're still living, we all think we still have a chance at the stocking prize. We plan to use this blog as a public debate forum in which all 9 of us will lay out our best arguments for why we should get the stockings and with it, the Inheritance.
I'm sure the arguments will go something like this:
Aubrey-- "I'm the oldest!"
Kristen-- "I'm the smartest!"
Annie-- "I'm the prettiest!"
CJ-- "I'm the...sickest."
Nathan-- "I'm a multi-dollar recording artist!"
Beth-- "I'm the skinniest!"
Shelley-- "I'm the pinkest!"
Caleb-- "I've edited Wikipedia!"
Tim-- "I can do the best Army crawl!"
Stay tuned for each of our very convincing and mostly true arguments. Vote for your favorite after we've all posted!
Threthrathrilla
Entry #2--Threthrathrilla
Don't be alarmed by the look of this word--it has a very simple pronunciation. Simply roll each R, and pretend that you're saying "quesadilla" with substituted consonants.
Years ago, when I (Shelley) was about five or six, Dad took us all out to a mexican restaurant. After stating that I wanted a quesadilla, Dad leaned in and said, "Shelley, do you know what the *real* way to say quesadilla is?"
"No, what?"
"Thre-thra-thri-lla. That's the Spanish way to say it. So when the waiter asks you what you want, tell her you want a threthrathrilla. She'll know what it means.
[Waiter walks over]
"I would like a threthrathrilla."
[Befuddled look from waiter]
[Dad laughing so hard he's crying]
[Mom shaking her head]
[Shelley vowing never to be Dad's friend again]
So, to this day, very rarely will any of us say "quesadilla." We know the REAL way. And now, so do you.
Don't be alarmed by the look of this word--it has a very simple pronunciation. Simply roll each R, and pretend that you're saying "quesadilla" with substituted consonants.
Years ago, when I (Shelley) was about five or six, Dad took us all out to a mexican restaurant. After stating that I wanted a quesadilla, Dad leaned in and said, "Shelley, do you know what the *real* way to say quesadilla is?"
"No, what?"
"Thre-thra-thri-lla. That's the Spanish way to say it. So when the waiter asks you what you want, tell her you want a threthrathrilla. She'll know what it means.
[Waiter walks over]
"I would like a threthrathrilla."
[Befuddled look from waiter]
[Dad laughing so hard he's crying]
[Mom shaking her head]
[Shelley vowing never to be Dad's friend again]
So, to this day, very rarely will any of us say "quesadilla." We know the REAL way. And now, so do you.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Gr-in-Baby
We know this blog has been severely neglected, and so to remedy this, the 9 Warren kids have decided that we will begin a new series entitled "Warren Culture". We will be posting words, phrases, embarrassing stories and jokes, arguments concerning which of us REALLY gets the Inheritance, and other blurbs to shed light on the Culture that Mom and Dad have created in our home. We're weird. Really.
We have a long, long list of words and phrases that we've made up and way overuse, and if you live in San Antonio, you've most likely heard many of these. Some of the entries will include a video or audio clip to make sure you know HOW to use the words and HOW to say them. We hope you'll have with this, and that you'll start incorporating some of these awesome words into your daily vocabulary. That way, we won't be weird. We'll just be normal.
And so we begin.
Entry #1--Gr in Baby
If you ask any one of us, one of our earliest memories is of our mother teaching us how to read English. She had great phonics charts with "bl in black, st in stack, cl in clock, dr in drop" and every single bl in blend you can think of.
Because our dear father has a hard time taking most things in life very seriously, he LOVED to give us what he called the "true blends."
They went like this:
bl in block
cl in clock
st in stack
dr in drop
gr in baby
He insisted that it was really a true blend and would even tell us that Mom didn't really know how to teach phonics. We waited through our entire phonics book to be able to use "gr in baby" and...it never showed up. To this day, if Dad encounters any child who is learning to read, he will undoubtedly ask them, "Have you learned gr in baby yet? That's my favorite!"
So the next time you're teaching your child to read, be sure to teach them gr in baby. They'll be glad you did.
We have a long, long list of words and phrases that we've made up and way overuse, and if you live in San Antonio, you've most likely heard many of these. Some of the entries will include a video or audio clip to make sure you know HOW to use the words and HOW to say them. We hope you'll have with this, and that you'll start incorporating some of these awesome words into your daily vocabulary. That way, we won't be weird. We'll just be normal.
And so we begin.
Entry #1--Gr in Baby
If you ask any one of us, one of our earliest memories is of our mother teaching us how to read English. She had great phonics charts with "bl in black, st in stack, cl in clock, dr in drop" and every single bl in blend you can think of.
Because our dear father has a hard time taking most things in life very seriously, he LOVED to give us what he called the "true blends."
They went like this:
bl in block
cl in clock
st in stack
dr in drop
gr in baby
He insisted that it was really a true blend and would even tell us that Mom didn't really know how to teach phonics. We waited through our entire phonics book to be able to use "gr in baby" and...it never showed up. To this day, if Dad encounters any child who is learning to read, he will undoubtedly ask them, "Have you learned gr in baby yet? That's my favorite!"
So the next time you're teaching your child to read, be sure to teach them gr in baby. They'll be glad you did.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
God is great; God is good!
If there's anyone out there who we have NOT already nagged to death about tonight, the Psalty musical is at 4 PM today!!!! So if you want to see 25 adorable kids singing and dancing, then come to Geneva School of Boerne, and stay for a free Texas BBQ supper afterwards!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Sunday, June 08, 2008
its true, we'll make a better day, just you and me...
So here's the two best friends/cousins on the first couple days of swim lessons - the girls are having a blast together!
Some of these are far away since the instructors are pretty manic about keeping parents at a distance. For some reason they think we're a distraction :-)
Carrie and Erin have been great at blowing bubbles in the water, putting their whole faces in the water, hunting for treasure at the bottom of the pool, and kicking their legs while the instructors help them "swim".
We love summertime!
Friday, May 09, 2008
Funky fresh
It wouldn't let me post the video, so here's the link
Aren't you so proud of what your kids are learning?
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Fat Sam's Grand Slam....
This is our Sam (3 1/2yrs)! He loves Cheezits! It is pretty much all he eats. If you walk into the Russell pantry today, you will see approximately 8 unopened boxes of Cheezits. If you walk into the Russell pantry tomorrow, you will see approximately 5 unopened boxes.
Why, you ask, is he allowed to eat that many Cheezits??! Because, Sam has been very sick since birth and until last year when we discovered Cheezits, he was severely underweight. Cheezits alone have put him back on the weight charts, even if he's still at the bottom. We sent his story to the Cheezits company and they sent Aubrey and Dirk a huge box of coupons for Cheezits!
Beth recently sat Sam down for a photo shoot with his favorite food and his favorite monkey friend.
Maybe you'll see his cute little face on a box someday!
Praise the Lord for Cheezits!
Why, you ask, is he allowed to eat that many Cheezits??! Because, Sam has been very sick since birth and until last year when we discovered Cheezits, he was severely underweight. Cheezits alone have put him back on the weight charts, even if he's still at the bottom. We sent his story to the Cheezits company and they sent Aubrey and Dirk a huge box of coupons for Cheezits!
Beth recently sat Sam down for a photo shoot with his favorite food and his favorite monkey friend.
Maybe you'll see his cute little face on a box someday!
Praise the Lord for Cheezits!
Monday, April 14, 2008
You're My Trampoline
All 9 of the Warren kids have been together all weekend and we've been up to our old antics. We decided to take some crazy trampoline pictures in different poses. It took about 3 hours to get a perfect shot from everyone, but it was 3 hours of great Purely Warren Fun. Rarely do all 9 of us get to be together, alone. So it was awesome. We did convince Dad to join in some of the fun, but Mom said she refused to jump on the trampoline... we're not quite sure why. ;)
Tim is wondering if he'll ever be able to fly...
Caleb was trying to look like he wasn't falling.
Shelley had the Superhero pose down.
We're not really sure what Beth is doing. Karate?
Nathan is just...always cool. And he can jump higher than any of us.
This was CJ's only shot. Despite all warnings not to even touch the trampoline, she got some severe whiplash on her way down from this shot. It was ugly.
Even Annie's scary pose looks pretty!
Kristen was trying to look like Wonder Woman. But isn't she WW already?
Aubrey was scared after CJ's accident so she decided she was not jumping. But she's the oldest..she can do that.
Go Dad!! Work it!
Tim is wondering if he'll ever be able to fly...
Caleb was trying to look like he wasn't falling.
Shelley had the Superhero pose down.
We're not really sure what Beth is doing. Karate?
Nathan is just...always cool. And he can jump higher than any of us.
This was CJ's only shot. Despite all warnings not to even touch the trampoline, she got some severe whiplash on her way down from this shot. It was ugly.
Even Annie's scary pose looks pretty!
Kristen was trying to look like Wonder Woman. But isn't she WW already?
Aubrey was scared after CJ's accident so she decided she was not jumping. But she's the oldest..she can do that.
Go Dad!! Work it!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
tell me your favorite song... just go ahead, let your hair down.
Erin and Carrie, all dressed up for Erin's "Tinkerbell Birthday Party".
Such pretty girls!!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Monday, March 03, 2008
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