The Inheritance

I know that everyone thinks that we Warrens don't ever fight (just don't ask Stephanie K....she's seen it all) and all we ever do is love each other and laugh. That is...partly true. We can love each other while we're fighting, can't we? To set the record straight, we do fight. Sometimes. These fights usually revolve around "Why are you wearing my sweater without asking me?!" or "I took the trash cans out last Friday so YOU have to do it this time!" or "You knew I was getting up to get some water and you took my seat!" or "Why are you sitting on my bed??! Go get your own bed!"

You get the picture. However, there is one fight in our home that has been raging since the Warren world began. A fight that will, most likely, never be completely resolved, a fight that we will never get tired of fighting, a fight that we will carry with us to our graves. Or, to our parents' graves.

Let me explain the backstory here. Years ago, in a far away land, Mom and Dad were very, very poor. No money, little food, and terrible living conditions. (Yes, they've come a long way.) It was time for Christmas and Dad and Mom looked at each other, wondering whether they would be able to have any Christmas at all. It didn't feel like Christmas because they couldn't afford one single decoration. Not a lot of presents for their little girls either. Mom, despite having little funds, was determined to make it the best Christmas ever. She began hand sewing all of their Christmas decorations. Wreaths, manger scenes, trees, gingerbread men, and even our stockings.

Some people might think that hand made decorations are cheap and useless and should be disposed of as soon as possible. But to us, they are some of our most cherished possessions. Every year, we break out our decorations and with it, the homemade stockings. For all of these years, we've wondered which one of us kids would actually get the stockings in the Will. We've begged for them, debated over them, attempted to bribe our parents for them, and a few of us have even considered hiding them until Mom and Dad die so we can "inherit" them. Some people take out life insurance money on dead people, but we plan to have a free-for-all for those stockings.

Now, it's not just the stockings that are the issue here. The stockings represent a much larger and rather illusive "Inheritance". Nevermind that there really is no Inheritance to speak of, but we know that whichever of us ends up with those stockings is truly the favorite child and will have all claims to the Inheritance. Mom and Dad say "Oh, there is no favorite child!" Yeah, right. Someday, we're going to find out who it is. But while they're still living, we all think we still have a chance at the stocking prize. We plan to use this blog as a public debate forum in which all 9 of us will lay out our best arguments for why we should get the stockings and with it, the Inheritance.

I'm sure the arguments will go something like this:
Aubrey-- "I'm the oldest!"
Kristen-- "I'm the smartest!"
Annie-- "I'm the prettiest!"
CJ-- "I'm the...sickest."
Nathan-- "I'm a multi-dollar recording artist!"
Beth-- "I'm the skinniest!"
Shelley-- "I'm the pinkest!"
Caleb-- "I've edited Wikipedia!"
Tim-- "I can do the best Army crawl!"

Stay tuned for each of our very convincing and mostly true arguments. Vote for your favorite after we've all posted!