Thursday, November 20, 2008

When it Comes to Wanting What's Real, There's No Such Thing As Greed (By Cathryn Joanna Warren)

Mine needs no introduction with big SAT words. This is just plainly and honestly and humbly why I'm better than everyone in this house. Here's to me.

>Dad only spanked me 1 time in my life, and it was because Mom forced him.
>I don't remember Mom ever spanking me. Ever. (Can Kristen claim this one?)
>I cheerfully, willingly, and on my own initiative, organized "clean the whole house days" and forced the younger children to participate. Usually at 6am on a Saturday.
>I raised 5 of my parents' children while Mom was on bedrest for something like 7 years, starting when I was 11 years old.
>I am the baker of the famous Warren bread, and most of the famous Warren cookies. I will make you some if you vote for me.
>I was doing all of the monthly commissary shopping when I was 16 years old.
>I was their only homeschooled child to go through the Algebra 2 book 3 times, all unsuccessfully. Wait, nevermind.
>I was their first child to play live music in the house. (other than Trust and Obey, Kris)
>In my 10th-12th grades, I didn't do one bit of schoolwork. Because I was too busy teaching the other kids. Who else would so selflessly sacrifice their education for the good of siblings?
>I'm sick in the brain. Your vote for me will keep me alive.
>I will probably be the last child to leave home. (Ask the other kids...they'll tell you it's true.) How's that for dedication?
>Because of me, my whole family has gained an infinite amount of knowledge about the human body (specifically the nervous system) and medicine in general.
>I have been stopped on the street and asked, "Are you John and Cathi Warren's daughter??!"

Aside from the Christmas stockings and the Inheritance, I claim: the sower statue, all pictures, all Air Force memorabilia, and the library. I also swear to hand over half of my Inheritance to Trish, because I'm the nicest of us all.

9 comments:

dirksgirl said...

great. that little "Trish" bit might have us all goin down.

Anonymous said...

I vote for CJ... c'mon she's dishing out cookies. I also see CJ's loyal service to her family, she works so hard to keep the order. If not the Inheritance, someone should at least send her on a vacation sometime, she deserves it. (will that get me more cookies CJ?)

sis said...

any kind of cookies you want, Cody! And season 3 of the Office!

Granny said...

Just out of curiosity, where IS that algebra 2 book?

(Oh, and about the commissary...THAT one is true.)

Kristen said...

I might vote for you if give me some more flexoril and maybe some morphine.

Anne said...

dang it.

Joanna said...

Not that my vote counts that much, but although I was leaning toward Kristen because well, she's commented on my blog several times and I really like big SAT words even though I don't understand them most of the time and have to look them up - sorry for the run-on sentence - but CJ has my name. It's hard to compete with that.

Trish said...

I'm not so little anymore, Aubrey...sigh. I think CJ should get it because she let me "play aminal" with her and didn't cry too hard when I dumped her on her head. (oops, did I never tell you that Cathi and John??) And she always laughed when I read Socks on Fox to her as fast as I could.

Suzanne said...

Since CJ taught me to bake the famous bread last weekend ... I'm kind of leaning in her direction. Assuming I get a vote. Do I get a vote and an in-law (out-law)?